Being a dad is weird: lessons in fatherhood from my family to yours

Foreword / by Melissa McCarthy

Have good times: or the value of adult friendships for the sanity of parents and children alike

It's about who you know: or Why having feathered friends will keep your kids from worrying about your crappy job

Take it all in stride: or Nothing is too big of a deal

The big sky theory: or Sometimes it's okay to lie to your kids

Rip off the band-aid: or The argument for truth once in a while

Parenting through hypochondria: or The time I thought I might be gay

Not all vacations with your children are magical: or Never take travel advice from a bird-watcher

Navigating breakfast conversations: or My dad never had to deal with this stuff

Having children of the opposite gender: or My mom DID have to deal with this stuff

Parenting the parents: or The art of waking up your dad when he falls asleep on the can

Admit your faults: or Don't mutilate the chocolate bunnies

All hail the road warrior: or Being grateful for what matters

How to be an inspiration to young athletes: P.S. maybe skip the mimosas?

Admit when you have said, done, or cooked something wrong: or The apology fish

High school

let it be a time of poor choices: or Forgive them, for they know not what they do

My dad's noises: (oh holy shit, I'm making noises)

It's okay to let them see you sweat: but sometimes I sweat a whole bunch

Music makes the world go 'round: (this one is easy)

Stop feeling guilty: your kids are never really bored

Forget counting sheep when you can't sleep: one of the many reasons it helps to have a sibling

Foster political ideas: or the time I was an asshole for Halloween

Learn the rules of the game: or Never leg-whip a priest

Always support your children: even when they lose their way and take their waiter job way too seriously

Teach your children the value of money: spend it now

Find a good lady to spend your life with: but be a good husband

Appreciate every gesture: for example, the meal that my daughters made me for Father's Day, 2014

It's okay to cry: or The art of gathering wine

Choose happy: and it is a choice.